I like to control things. I have always been like this. Isn’t this what perfectionism is all about when it comes down to it? We are taught as Christians to “Let go, God is in control”, but this concept has not been so easy for me to put in practice. I was once led through a guided meditation that went a little bit like this:
Imagine you are sitting on the floor surrounded by deflated balloons. Take each balloon and breathe into it your troubles and worries. Imagine the balloon getting larger and larger. When you can not give it anymore, release the balloon and watch it float away to heaven.
Only, when I imagine this, I feel like my balloons never make it all the way out of sight. They stay, hovering above me, like some sort of cloud. I don’t feel the pain of carrying my struggles, but I also am aware that they are still there.
I have recently begun clearing out my house using the method in Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (more on that in future posts). An unexpected side affect of this effort has been how it has encouraged me to be more selective in all things in my life – including what I worry about.
We all have a limited amount of time, money, and energy. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy left at the end of the day to worry about the dirty dishes in the sink or tornado of clothes in the kids room – and that is okay.